Our Beliefs shape our life

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Throughout our life, we are forming our worldview. Every experience we have and the result of the experience gives us a new belief about ourselves and our skills. This belief gives us some feelings, and our behavior is based on those feelings.

Childhood beliefs have a lasting impact on our life long after we've grown up. As an adult, how does it feel to be reminded of or go through an event comparable to one you had as a child where you were appreciated, valued, and encouraged? Consider another instance in which you were held responsible and reprimanded; how did you react? Is it okay if we go through it all over again?

In the first scenario, I feel proud of my accomplishments, secure in my talents, and value myself. As a result of the second, I might feel bad about myself or ashamed of my actions. I might also try to avoid making the same mistake again. In both circumstances, my belief is based on the experience's conclusion, and if each experience had a different outcome, I would have a different view about it despite the fact that I am the same person.

When we were children and young adults, we all developed a set of beliefs about ourselves and our talents that were the result of various experiences we had. These beliefs now serve us, support us, and are the driving force behind our success and pleasure. There are also another set of beliefs that limit our potential and rob us of our confidence, self-esteem, and pleasure. We can call them dis-empowering or limiting beliefs. I prefer the latter one, "limiting beliefs", because it emphasizes how they prohibit us from taking advantage of the numerous opportunities that life has to offer. These beliefs lead to negative sentiments and self-talk that tells us we're not good enough, we're not deserving, why bother trying when we already know we'll fail, and many other negative self-talk patterns. Terrible self-talk and limiting beliefs or thoughts are a feature of life; who among us hasn't had these kinds of negative experiences? How individuals deal with their inner self-talk, however, varies widely. Being aware of when and how negative self-talk begins is critical.

We may replace our restricting and dis-empowering beliefs with more positive ones that assist and encourage us to achieve more success, but we must go through some processes to get rid of a limiting belief.

My methods for letting go of limiting beliefs and replacing negative self-talk with more positive ones worked for me, and I'm going to share them with you.

• Repeating positive and powerful statements to yourself on a regular basis (affirmations). It's uplifting and energizing.
• Writing down my previous victories and accomplishments, then going back to it when I'm feeling bad.
• Studying and writing about the numerous events and consequences that I've been through, and thinking about how this limiting idea has harmed my life.
• Put myself in the company of inspiring, upbeat people who will lift me up and serve as a constant reminder of all the wonderful things I've accomplished so far.

Hopefully these tools can help you release your limiting beliefs as well. Please feel free to share what has worked for you in the past (in the comments section) or what might work for you in the future (by sending your questions my way).

10 tips to stay positive in a negative environment

It's difficult, but not impossible, to maintain an optimistic outlook while surrounded by negativity. Though it's simple to say, it's nearly impossible to put into practice. However, if you believe in the value of it, you will succeed. Over the last two years, I've been through a lot of hardship. My mood sank, and it appeared as though my life had been placed on pause. Everything seemed impossible to me and I lacked energy or passion for anything. As a result, I made the conscious decision to limit my exposure to any and all negative stimuli.

Listed below are a few pointers that I used to remain upbeat when everything and everyone around me seemed to be depressing.

The following are ten suggestions for maintaining a good outlook.

1- Be present at the moment, let go of the past, and let go of the future worries.

It's critical to take care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs if you want to maintain a happy outlook. When you feel good about yourself because you're healthy, fit, and in shape, it's hard for anything else to get to you.

3- Surrender: Have faith in Allah's (God's) mercy and assistance, and trust that He is looking out for your best interests.

4 -Keep a positive group of individuals around you to provide you encouragement and support.

5- Find inspiration by reading about people who have experienced difficult situations in their lives and have learned to have a good outlook in spite of it.

6- Create a habit that allows you to unwind. Deep breathing, meditation, or simply repeating positive affirmations regularly can help you achieve inner calm. Examples of affirmations include: I am safe, I feel amazing, my life is perfect, or whatever other affirmations you want.

7- Focus on what you have instead of what you lack. You should keep a thankfulness diary in which you should write down five things each day that you are grateful for. If you wait a few weeks, you'll have a big list of things to be grateful for.

8- Make an effort to understand your anxieties. Fear is most likely the root of your pessimism, therefore investigate the veracity of your worries and anxieties. In what percentage of cases did they prove to be correct? How are you going to get over your worries and who is going to help you?

Write down your thoughts, feelings, anxieties, and worries in a journal. You'll notice a difference. Make daily journaling a habit; it will be beneficial to your well-being.

10- Do what you enjoy and what makes you happy. To refuel and gain more positive energy, spend time with the people you love, travel, or go on silent retreats in nature.

What can you do to maintain an optimistic outlook while you're surrounded by pessimists?

Self Care was the solution

I had a very tough summer this year. The weather was very hot and humid, and I hate both humidity and hot weather :). I am currently establishing my coaching business; I tried to work from home but I couldn't as it was the summer vacation and with the kids at home I could never focus on anything. I had shared an office with other people and before actually starting with my clients they apologized and asked to cancel the contract because they had to leave the apartment to the owner.  I found another place but it had to be furnished and that meant more time and additional expenses. My best friend was on a trip all summer long and I felt so lonely. I didn't go out with my friends or do anything to enjoy myself during almost three long months. I was working with my coach on my relationships. I was stuck and turning in circles. I couldn't find any way out for my issues. I was desperate and unhappy.

I was really astonished about how stuck I was in my relationships and why I couldn't find a way out. There was nothing new; they were the same issues I experienced every now and then. Why was my response this time so rough? Why couldn't I cope with the situation as sometimes I was able to do? Why couldn't I be accepting? Acceptance was all I needed I think. For almost three months I was struggling with many issues but I never realized that my main issue was with myself. Yes, it was all about me. I didn't take care of myself. There was something very important missing in my life; that was SELF CARE. I felt lonely and missing my best friend, I avoided going out because of the hot weather and the bad traffic, I spent all my time just doing housework and all I need to do for my new business, I was committed to my younger son workouts, but I didn't notice that I was not taking care of myself. For long weeks I didn't do anything to enjoy myself except working out two or three times a week.

I realized from my work with my coach that lack of self care was the main cause of my unhappiness, but I always thought that it was anything else. I was extremely nervous, aggressive and angry most of the time. I believed that the weather, my sons' behavior, traffic, my husband, the maid’s absence and many other reasons were the cause of feeling upset and angry. The only enjoyable thing I did during these three months is spending time with my sons, every now and then, listening to their jokes and laughing with them. It is true that I love spending time with my sons but I love and need to spend time with my friends and with myself. I needed to show more self care. I was always repeating to my friends that to be able to take care of others we need to learn to take care of ourselves first. It seems that I forgot my own advice :).

Self care doesn't need to be time and money consuming as we may think; it can be just spending quality time with a dear friend, listening to music, relaxing in nature or in our favorite place, watching a good movie or reading an inspiring book. It can be playing and laughing with our children. Self care means honoring ourselves and showing love for ourselves by having our needs met. It is showing respect to our own needs as we show respect to others needs. What is really important is to make it regular and a lifestyle; not just doing it when we have nothing else to do. 

It is so important to add our self care appointment to our calendar as we do with our other important appointments. We need to give our self care appointments a high priority as we give to our business appointments. The self care appointments we commit to today will help us to get the energy for our business appointments we have to commit to tomorrow. Have your own self care program. Build your own enjoyable activity list and go for one activity daily and as much as the activity is new and adventurous it will bring you more excitement, satisfaction and energy. Your life will not be the same anymore.

I would like that you share with me the activities you do to show self care and how often do you do?